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hapter Eleven
Advantages Using The 21 Emotions Exercise

" Oh life, how sweet it is. The fruits of its wisdom fill the very bowels of my being. Keep in mind to sample the sweeteners of life and even the lemons will taste sweet "

"Day dreams have beneficial effects. As you review the past and rehearse for the future, which is what most people do in daydreams, you're getting help in mastering your environment."

One other and most advantageous reason for understanding the mechanics of all the emotions, their cause and their effects is to gain the advantage of properly, correctly, without error, make rational, personal decisions.

Infrequently we do not think of our emotions in conjunction with decisive concerns, but as discovered this is fundamentally necessary. Decisions play an integral part of our life. Everyday we are faced with answering many questions, starting off with the foremost menial question which is whether we wish to get out of bed or not. Logically there are some who have no choice due to duty calling and they must get to work. Ironically those who have difficulty getting started in the morning, notwithstanding the fact some may have burnt the candle at both ends the evening before, are faced with their first choice of the day. Factually we must concur the decision is based on how we feel. Are we emotionally stressed? Is the tiredness caused by stress related concerns? Do we feel ill at ease? The personal uneasiness we feel is also formulated emotionally. Potentially the problem stems from wondering what the final outcome of the day will be. After you exhaust all avenues of reasoning you will still find that even the final decision whether you have a good enough reason not to go to work or stay at home is also based on your emotions. Emotions are required to convince us it is the right thing to do by just picking ourselves up and going forth to new challenges.

But, you can prepare yourself for every type of occurrence. Mastering your emotions will give you the ability of mastering your emotional life emergencies.

Furthermore, it is compulsory that you understand the full ramifications of not exercising your emotions to fully understand the emotional impact your emotions have on your life. It is not necessary, actually on the contrary, to continually delve in negative circumstances. The alternative is to prepare yourself positively, daily, so when you wake up in the morning you are emotionally fresh and prepared to take the world on.

Coming to grips with life is actually a very easy task, notwithstanding the fact that you may rationalize and believe the opposite. We are not just pawns in another's grand scheme. We are not allotted a certain life span to follow others like sheep. We are born with the two fundamental attributes allotted to mankind; the ability to think and reason, and the power of choice. We are in control of our existence. Better it be you then someone else.

Which brings us to the subject of staying ahead of the psychological piranha. The true and only difficulties we experience are the times and circumstances when we lose control of our personal frame of thought. This is accomplished when you seek experiences yet are not prepared emotionally once you reach them.

An apathetic attitude is no different then when one decides to go swimming in a torrent river yet they have never learnt to swim. Having an apathetic attitude is exactly what the problem is with most individuals. Going into situations not properly prepared finally causes the person to drown in the violent currents which are especially waiting for the foolish person. Once one is caught up in the violent currents they resign themselves to not getting out, fearing the worst and expecting nothing less. Yet the currents can be overcome if the person doesn't struggle against them and finds that they have the strength to take a deep breath and go down into the bowls of the river, and once they reach the bottom they can then use their senses to push themselves upwards to safety. The majority will resign themselves to drowning in the quagmire of thought, procrastinate, and hope the current will eventually take them to shore. After a time they find they have no strength to continue fighting.

If you are emotionally prepared to swim the river of life then that pre-preparedness will have originated before an event takes place. Your thoughts and ideas will have been well formulated in advance just in case it is decided to try a different experience. Walking around blindly serves no purpose but to look undeniably for psychic pitfalls. Keeping your eyes and ears open is not sufficient enough. Extending your subconscious feelers outwards will give you an advance warning. Looking towards the river, seeing the rolling torrents of water assuredly should suffice and hold back any voyeurism tendencies you may have. In other words your common senses should be utilized to their fullest especially if you are a daring person who has a tendency to heed your physical fears.

But physical fear is not sufficient enough. What would happen if you are standing on the river bank viewing the situation and inadvertently you slip and fall into the river? The emotional fear of falling, alone, is enough to stop the thinking process from taking place. But if you presumed at an earlier date that the occurrence could possibly happen, and developed an emotional outline to offset that probability, even the fear of falling could be overcome. Being emotionally prepared for all situations no matter how great or small and having a game-plan, at least a partial one, can place one slightly ahead of the game.

Being pre-prepared establishes a strong positive attitude. The true reality of being pre-prepared is that by being prepared the person reduces the fear value. The importance of fear as we all must agree is that fear is the cornerstone of indecisiveness. Becoming emotionally charged with positive rectifications stymies fear and puts the emphasis on the remaining positive emotions instead of the negative emotions.

Presuming we always think of negative situations and rectifications then one could say that we would be living in a negative life style our whole life. To negate the possibility of such ideas we should consider for a moment that if we delve into a situation with a positive frame of mind then the reality change that we are seeking or the outcome of the data outline be it negative or naught would actually prevent the possibility that the problem situation would occur in the first place.

Consequently if you cannot swim do not stand close to the water. Not standing too close to a river edge in case you would fall would be the subconscious outline end-result. If the outline was heeded without change then precautions would be taken to avoid placing yourself in a precarious location. Alternatively if you enjoy turbulent waters then it might be an idea to learn to swim first before you go near the river's edge. Assuredly deciding whether to stand near a river's edge is an emotional decision.

One other problem stemming from the requirement of making a decision is impatience. Remember that being impatient is also a negative emotion. It consists of either greed, egotism, fear or virtually everyone of the negative emotions. By understanding what the true emotional problem is during an impatient decision period, and what you are truly striving for, and then using the corrective emotion to offset the impatience, the end-result sought will eventually come to fruition. The end-result may not come at that exact moment but giving the positive, subliminal, emotional thought the chance to take hold would definitely establish in your mind what you really required and what you are seeking in the first place.

Removing the problem of having to make unwarranted decisions allows the mind an opportunity to fully concentrate on constructing new realities. All realities have no limitations. Many people daydream their reality changes. Reality changes can be of a personal nature, a business proposition or a relationship and even down to the possibility of having children in the future. Daydreaming is only a form of changing reality and if the mind is free to daydream properly without hindrance, the daydreams can become the focal point to designing a better state of mind and lifestyle. Repetitively however, daydreaming should be done when you are functioning in a positive mode.

Using "The 21 Emotions Exercise" daily should allow you the opportunity of knowing precisely what emotional condition you are in at any exact moment in time. If the indicator specifies a positive corrective emotion then there is no question the time is right to advance the thinking process into stage two. Stage two is intuiting potential realities. On the other hand if the opposite holds true, then whatever the negative corrective emotion is then it would be wiser to concentrate on reversing the negative reality in which you are functioning. All concentrated efforts should be toward the opposite direction and placing the full emphasis on offsetting the negative reality. Under siege of the negative corrective emotion reality it would be impossible to design or create an emotional understanding of the potential reality change unless you are fully aware of pitfalls you may experience upon completion.

Now that certain guidelines have been established for changing realities and making decisions, one other reason for using "The 21 Emotions Exercise" is to find out why you function with a certain attitude.

Many times we find ourselves in circumstances which seem to be beyond our control. An example of such a situation may be as such; while attending a social function, out of the blue someone begins to berate you in public for possibly the most minute reason. Usually as you are attacked by the aggressor you will find that you will stand dumbfounded for a moment and then begin to question the aggressor's reasoning. The first words which were spoken irritated you and fills you with rage. Your ego becomes damaged and the embarrassment becomes overwhelming. In this type of circumstance some would fight back, while others would walk away shaking their heads without an idea of why a situation of uncontrolled conflict as such would get out of hand.

Usually the victim will question himself first as to whether he was actually responsible for the blatant outburst of the aggressor or who is at blame. Ironically, very rarely does one find the answer. We either cease having contact with the one who bellowed at us or we consider some sort of revenge. The third alternative to a conflict situation is to approach the problem head on at a later time and try to converse with the other person to rectify the problem

Most people will try to converse with an adversary at a later date. This approach to solve the issue is thwarted without one knowing what the emotional implications of the reactions of the aggressor are. Although it may seem like there may be some headway finding out the reasons for another's outburst, once communication is established with the aggressor it has been found that the norm of these communications usually breeds animosity. The actual cause of the animosity is because the attacked person probably will still be emotionally angry with the situation and will try to save face. On the other hand, notwithstanding the fact there could have been a valid reason for the aggressor to be upset, the aggressor's shown anger and the aggressor's self-hate for reacting in an uncalled for manner, leaves the grounds for dialogue precariously useless unless there is an emotional mediator

Presuming that before the aftermath took place, if the victim had relaxed and worked the emotional exercise for both individuals primarily without hurt or anger, unbiased, and was able to remove himself psychically from the altercation, the combined corrective emotion from both parties would be the constructive emotional approach to rectifying the problem. Simply, whatever the end-result of the exercise was for both the aggressor and the one being attacked, if the one being attacked expressed the corrective emotion to the aggressor, the emotional output would work as the catalyst to bring both people into a positive frame of mind. When both people are thinking positively about the situation the end-result to the problem will turn out positive. Furthermore both people can walk away from the situation without carrying a negative monkey on their back.

The aforementioned type of situation is a daily problem, and similar traumatic disagreements caused the emotional feelings both parties experienced. We may conclude the exact same emotions experienced at an earlier date are conclusively responsible for the same type of emotional problems. Unless we are spiritual monks who resign ourselves to a cloistered life style, personal conflicts will be actively part of our existence. We need to keep in mind we cannot please everybody.

Need it be stated, but emotional upheavals are the birth factors of stress. As mentioned in previous chapters, stress can be attributed to our inabilities to deal with problems in a proper emotional frame of mind and specifically our indecisiveness. Using the exercise we find when we are under pressure and stress at least we can partially comprehend why the stress has taken hold. It would be a better thought however not to allow stress to dominate and this could be accomplished actively using the exercise as a forewarning tool for problems. We can see we are heading for trouble if there seems to be a tendency for the emotional indicator daily showing a continuous level of negative corrective emotions. This negative inclining emotional indicator if used daily and charted on a graph can be a psychic warning. The rectification to an inclining negative emotional indicator situation is to place all our emotional positive resources to the forefront, and concentrate all our available positive energies toward stamping out the negative attitude. With this in mind, there is sound reason to calculate a daily emotional indicator chart using the exercise and keep a graph as a weather bell warning device. Creating a weather bell warning device is an enhancement for changing a personal reality.

The real advantage with creating a graph is that the exercise can be used as a preventive tool. We are gluttons for punishment, but just as we enjoy on occasion being masochistic emotional zombies we value peace and quiet. Peace of mind cannot be achieved unless we remove the obstacles in our path. Common sense and emotional stability become the norm when we adhere to our innermost thoughts and we then develop a protective mechanism of values. Frequent use of the exercise does create stability and knowledge deep within your mind which frees up your creative intelligence, stimulates your personal associations, develops a mind awareness of compromise, and establishes a further bonding of mind, body and spirit.

There is a caveat however. Presumption of facts can precariously contribute to unknown emotional instability. Not having all our emotions intact during certain types of wanton displays of paranoia, lessen the chances of understanding and fulfilling our obligation to decide what is truth and what is not.

When a situation arises which attacks all our morals and beliefs even though we may not personally be involved in the situation there may be a tendency to overreact and presume the facts are correct.

A true example of such a situation began in 1984. The case revolved around a family dispute which consisted of a bitter, extensive legal battle between two parents and access rights to a child. The father wished to exercise his rights to formulate a sound relationship with the child, while the mother wished he had no contact with the child whatsoever. Three years of costly and extensive legal interaction culminated in a horrendous event. The mother acting in a vindictive and hateful manner falsely accused the father of sexually abusing the child. The father on the other hand had been a very caring and loving father.

After an extensive investigation which proved conclusively the father was completely innocent of all charges, the mother still continued to make false allegations. A further three years of court appearances continued with the father and the child being the victims of presumption of guilt. A number of people became involved in the case. The mother's false allegations became incorporated in psychological assessment reports based solely on hearsay information from the mother. A psychologists who was retained by the mother presumed the father was guilty of abusing his child. Throughout the ordeal the father adamantly denied any wrong doing and insisted the culprit was the mother trying to deny him access to the child. Instead of evaluating all the circumstances and at least communicating with the father, the psychologist filed the mother's false or presumed accusations with the family courts. Eventually another psychologist was retained by the mother, and in turn that professional filed a similar evaluation based on the first psychologist's initial report. She also had not communicated or assessed the father.

The final outcome came to the surface when a court ordered a totally impartial assessment of the whole family. The assessment was conducted by an appointed multi-disciplinary team of professionals who painstakingly looked at all the circumstances surrounding the case and concluded the child was being subject to "Parental Alienation Syndrome", or simply child psychological abuse at the hands of the mother.

However the case is not the issue. The presumption of guilt by the involved professionals, whether they were psychologists, lawyers, judges and personal acquaintances of both parties had not been based on the true facts of the matter but by the negative emotions attributed to the preconceived vile crime. Notwithstanding the fact the father and child continued to have a warm and caring limited association throughout the period, there were those who could not fathom innocence. In their minds if the allegation was made there had to be proof the event took place.

The real issue with the above mentioned example first of all was that not one of the accusers considered their true personal emotions about the matter rationally. Had any of the accusers understood their deep rooted feelings towards the situation their reactions would have been different. The accusers feelings had been based on contaminated data only which in turn triggered their negative emotional responses. Had the psychologists been privy to "The 21 Emotions Exercise", completed the exercise before their presumption of fact, they would have understood their personal emotional conflicts and would have understood why they were expressing certain emotions in a negative manner. Completing the exercise before a decision was made, the psychologists would have known the corrective emotion to express. They most likely would have changed their tune once the corrective emotion knowledge became available and furthermore by implementing the corrective emotion they would have understood all the facts of the case.

It is not sufficient or necessary to concentrate solely on changing future realities. There is also a requirement to understand your present environment. Ironically the above mentioned case when researched proved conclusively all the parties who partook in the research program had been functioning in a personal negative pattern prior to becoming involved in the case. With the mother's negative psychological trap set for those thinking as she was, the statement made earlier that "like attracts like" actually became the focal point for the entrapment.

The moral for those who operate under the guise of presumption of experience, is know your emotional conditioning first before any decision is made.

Library No EGC-2-811992-B

Copyright Earl Gordon Curley 1981.

All rights reserved. The use of any part of this publication reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, or stored in a retrieval system, without prior consent of the author is an infringement of the copyright law and will be dealt with to the fullest extent of the law.

FIRST EDITION August 1981.

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